Tax Tactics Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

A man flees the IRS to Shelter Island.

IRS, 'You're not really a bad person, so we'll just confiscate everything you own and let you off with a warning.'

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

Tell him his partner is here.

'I can audit any man in the house!'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Offshore tax havens.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

Osborne's Tax Cuts