Tax Tactics Enthusiast Gifts

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

A man flees the IRS to Shelter Island.

IRS, 'You're not really a bad person, so we'll just confiscate everything you own and let you off with a warning.'

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

Tell him his partner is here.

'I can audit any man in the house!'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Carpe De Revenue!"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!