Tax Sprint Pro Pillows

A man races to get his tax returns filed.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Taxation, meet Representation."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

The Mattress Savings Bank

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

Monster under the bed.

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

The Accountant Husband

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'