Tax Sprint Pro Pillows

A man races to get his tax returns filed.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Taxation, meet Representation."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

The Mattress Savings Bank

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

Monster under the bed.

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

Branson space shot

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'