Tax Shelter Navigator Pillows

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

I think I can...

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

The Red-Light Accounting District

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

Monster under the bed.