Tax Return Optimizer T-Shirts

'I'd like to investigate your tax return.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'I'd like the short form instead...'

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Monster under the bed.

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

Tax grab.

The Accountant Husband

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'