Tax Law Gifts

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

'I sympathize with your wife having multiple personality disorder, but you can't claim each one as a dependent."

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

"Actually, Mr. Johnson, there's a big difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion."

Accountant is intimidated by tax code book.

Tax loopholes...

'A bill of rights? It's hard enough collecting taxes the way it is!'

"Save tax loopholes!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

Lady Justice with an eye peeking from under her blindfold holds scales where a humongous book, 'The Tax Code' weighs more than a man.

"I said, with these new tax breaks, we'll be able to buy more leaves for the table."

"It's a simple recipe. Add politics to economics, you get tax law."

"Of course you pay taxes down here. This isn't heaven, you know."

"Remember how sure you were nobody would notice how much you'd fudged on your deductions?"

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Stealth Taxman

I.R.S. - 'sorry, we're open'.

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Well, that was the most entertaining presentation on accounts receivable pertaining to 3rd quarter tax law revisions I've ever seen.'

"I see you've been social distancing from fully declaring your income."

Don't leave it to just the fat cats to get a tax break.

"Income tax has created more liars than golf and porn put together."

"Stop me if you've heard this before."

"Hey, you're good! I could do with someone like you who knows all the loopholes."

'Think of all the tax possibilities if there really were a parallel universe.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Is there a yearly cap on writing off abortions?"

Permanent Tax Record

"Good luck getting my client's tax returns - he never even filed!"

"Let's give him a few minutes to grieve. His idea of taxing the air taxpayers breath was rejected."

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

"If tax loopholes become obsolete, so do we."

"Me, Al Capone. Biggest mob boss in Chicago and they nail me for tax evasion of all things! Can you believe it?!"

"The good news is that your sexual harassment expenses are still deductible."