Taxation Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Tax Auditor door sign / Out to get you ? back in one hour.

'You didn't think you could get away from us that easily, did you?'

"No it doesn't stand for Vodka and Tonic."

'Relax, I'm from the IRS. Death and taxes have merged.'

'Your repeated questioning as to whether I've been a 'good boy' has no relevance Mr Claus. I still need to see your accounts!'

"Hello, I'm Death and Taxes...we merged."

Luck of the IRS.

"As part of out customer care charter it's been decided that you don't need to give us your pants until tomorrow."

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

Inland Revenue VAT - "Mr Batson, the consequences are here."

'My horoscope says I'll be noticed by people who count.'

'Don't be intimidated by his fifty million dollar salary...Just think of his as a guy with a tax problem.'

'Our goal is to eliminate tax loopholes... so from now on they'll be called donut holes.'

Accountant speaks with client in ball room and fun with taxes

'This whole North Pole thing of yours ? is it some kind of tax dodge or what?'

'My dad is an accountant so he deducts withholding tax on my allowance.'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

Tax Muse

"The big shell is nice, but the property taxes are a killer."

'The IRS is here to bite the hand that feeds it.'

'You deducted whoopie cushions as a business expense Just what kind of business are you in, Mr, Quincy'

'Taxes? They're a penalty for doing well.'

"You're self-assessment form is a joke!"

April Showers

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

I'd Rather Have The Short Tax Form.

'May I ask where you are taking me?

'One day son, all of this will be the taxman's.'

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

'I'm sending in my quarterly estimated tax payment, but I'm not signing the check. If I have to guess how much I made, let the IRS guess who made it.'

'I'm having trouble supporting a wife and a government on the same salary.'

"Here you are!" "I'll have that, thank you!" Inland revenue gives/takes away.