Tax Appraiser Gifts

'Hello, I'm the city tax appraiser and it has come to our attention that you have added a bird house to your yard.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

The transparent safe box of Panama

Flat tax - equal burden?

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Panama Papers Scandal

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson