Tavern Storyteller T-Shirts

'Old McAllister is a real crank -- he has a conspiracy theory about Tom Bodett.'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'You've had enough!'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Joe's Bar, Get the Full Beer Experience.

"You look good for your age."

'What a twist of fate!'

'Time? Time's relative.'

"I've stopped looking for work, which, I believe, helps the economic numbers."

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

"You must be the new barmaid."

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

Joe's Bar - ask your doctor if Joe's bar is right for you!

Shanahan's

'Do you believe in the hereafter?', 'I'm not sure -- where are we now?'

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

Child In A Bar.

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

'I used to do a lot of business over the phone, but as soon as Caller ID came along...'

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

"O.K., Let's try this scenario..."

'How many experience points do I have? — I'm not that kind of girl!'

Joe's Bar, not for Sissies. Sissies, try Bruce's bar around the corner.

"I have a female landlubber in every port."

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'

Why must you have "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" on the jukebox? A lot of people complained that "Happy Hour" was too happy.

'I finally found my inner child! He grew up and will soon be sitting on a bar stool!'