Tavern Tales Aficionados T-Shirts

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Fishing Tales

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Fishing Boat Derby

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

A Salmon Lie

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

'You've had enough!'

Circus trousers

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

"You look good for your age."

"This is your great-great-uncle Enchilmo Ladas. We called him 'Enchi' for short."

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

A Tale of the Sea

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

"His nose grew every time he lied? That must've taken all the fun out of fishing."

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

Paul Bunyon, Castaway