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Tavern: Perfect Attendance.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

"White whale, red dot—we're all chasing something, my friend."

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Joe's Bar, Get the Full Beer Experience.

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

"You look good for your age."

Beer $1.00. The painter refinished the bar top and left this place absolutely spotless! He varnished without a trace!

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

'It's tough having a casual political discussion these days.'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

Joe's Bar - ask your doctor if Joe's bar is right for you!

'If that's Bo-Peep, you haven't seen me...'

Shanahan's

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

I have to tell you: I preferred "buy one, get one free" night. Tuesday is "tall bartender, short bar stool" night.

Child In A Bar.

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

Al's Bar, All You Can Drink $375.

'I used to do a lot of business over the phone, but as soon as Caller ID came along...'

'How many experience points do I have? — I'm not that kind of girl!'