Tattoo Talking Felines Pillows

"I don't like tattoos on men, unless it's an 'N' inside his ear...means he's neutered."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

Unemotional Support Animal

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Trust me, tomorrow's Young Master's birthday party: Time to find a hiding spot for the day...'

"Get out here Phil! The outside ideas are far better than the inside ones were!"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Cat Romance

'You let me out. What I do when I'm out is my business.'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

New, Improved Cat

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

Cat with all the hair he has ever shed

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

Great mouser!

How cats see their home

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

"I'm sorry I ever taught him to speak"

'Sometimes I think they understand every word we're saying.'

"Her boyfriend must really love us."

"Why don't you stop by and stray for awhile."

The Cheshire cat has dentures. Pass it on.

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.