Taste Wizard T-Shirts

Guy Fieri

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Harsh Mellows.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

Big Burgers.

Television company new recruit

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'