Tartan Tunes Gifts

Piper-fan

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'What clan do you belong to?'

Mozart on a computer,

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Scottish party

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Scotsman in the bath...

Highland Piper.

"You're awfully tame this evening."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

The Scottish Lawn

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

Scot holding a heart.

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

Monkey Business

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Where Scottish milk comes from.

Stable boys and Scottsman

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Scot country dancing,

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'Tarzan'

Scottish Love

Woman pulling tartan trolley and a Scotsman pulling bagpipes.