Tartan Enthusiasts Pillows

'It's his special English tartan that celebrates Scottish independence.'

'Please tell me that suit is flammable.'

Scottish Baby

Tartine

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'What clan do you belong to?'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Scottish party

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Scotsman in the bath...

Highland Piper.

'Trucker's tan?'

"You're awfully tame this evening."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Shall I be mother?

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

Scot holding a heart.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

The Scottish Lawn

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'