Tartan Enthusiasts Pillows

'It's his special English tartan that celebrates Scottish independence.'

'Please tell me that suit is flammable.'

Scottish Baby

Tartine

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'What clan do you belong to?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Scottish party

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Scotsman in the bath...

Highland Piper.

'Trucker's tan?'

"You're awfully tame this evening."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Scot holding a heart.

The Scottish Lawn

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

Shall I be mother?

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Monkey Business

'You're new here, aren't you?'

Stable boys and Scottsman