Tarmac Tender Gifts

Cleaning a new road

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"First time pruning?"

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Timber preservation

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

Golf Hil Divot

Sixpack to die for.

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

"OK, head on down then take the second lane on the right, hang a left then first right, up ahead is the runway. You can't miss it."

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'He micromanages all our trades.'

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

Public Procurement Portal

Skyscrapers.

'The plums are dry. It's time to prune.'

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

"This is when we will involve Procurement so they can do the boring stuff for us..."

'As you can see, your sales region is quite large.'

"Two beers and Beethoven's Fifth, please."

Tractor

'I'm getting pretty tired of all these potholes.'

'I expected some rough, but not this rough.'

"Honey! I think the angelfish have outgrown the neon tetras!"

'I bet your Sunday mornings are different now you're married,eh Sam?'

Toxic Waste, formerly: harmless waste.

I love Tropical Fish

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

Mountain Rescue.