Tanning Storyteller Gifts

Frank was engrossed in his book --- He lost track of time and got a sunburn! Now he's well-read and well-red!

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Sunbathing in Autumn

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

A gap between the solar panels

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

'I love us when we're tan.'

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

Sun Worshipers

'You're new here, aren't you?'

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

Sunblock

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

John takes a personivacation.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Medium well, please.'

The Sun Bather

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

Gym/Tan/Donut

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"I smell bacon. Are you wearing sunscreen?"