Tanning Storyteller Gifts

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Sunbathing in Autumn

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

A gap between the solar panels

'I love us when we're tan.'

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

'You're new here, aren't you?'

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

Sun Worshipers

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Sunblock

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

John takes a personivacation.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Medium well, please.'

The Sun Bather

Gym/Tan/Donut

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

"I smell bacon. Are you wearing sunscreen?"

"High time!"