Tank Collector T-Shirts

"You can buy all kinds of stuff on the internet!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Bottletrees.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Your shout!"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

"I wonder what this was for."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'How old is this vase?'

Wine: New and Old.

'Hello, please take care of my ship in a bottle.'

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"