Train Collector T-Shirts

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'God's speed.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."