Taming Pillows

'I need a new challenge...'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

Litter Tray Training

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

Parenting Business Deals

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Getting Rid of the Cure

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Education Guidance

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

Circus Act