Talking Dog Aficionado T-Shirts

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

"Ever eat a bird?"

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Another slander suit!"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Actually I never loved you."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

Dog-English dictionary.

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

"I'm sorry I ever taught him to speak"

Barking as a Second Language.

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'

'I demand a second opinion!'

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

"How come you never get the kind of granola with the chocolate chips in it?"

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."

Catsplaining: Actually, Jerry, cats need to eat seven times a day to stay healthy

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

If dogs could talk

"Hey, a meat truck! Let’s go after it!" "Nah. My owner’s a lawyer. I only chase ambulances." "Oooh."