Dog Talk Aficionado T-Shirts

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Another slander suit!"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Actually I never loved you."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Dog-English dictionary.

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"We're in for the night."

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

Bottled Toilet Water

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."

"If you could spend an hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"