Dog Talk Aficionado T-Shirts

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"Another slander suit!"

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Actually I never loved you."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Dog-English dictionary.

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

Beg here. Pay here.

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

'So smart and yet so dumb.'

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

Bottled Toilet Water

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

"We're in for the night."

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."