Talking Pet Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Another slander suit!"

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Ever eat a bird?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Actually I never loved you."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

"I'm sorry I ever taught him to speak"

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

Dog dictionary/Dog Alphabet.

"How come you never get the kind of granola with the chocolate chips in it?"

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."

Dog says of toy dog: 'He's really just a nodding acquaintance.'

Catsplaining: Actually, Jerry, cats need to eat seven times a day to stay healthy

"And so she's all, 'woof'. And I'm like, 'woof?'"

'The parrot died so I got a cage-fighter.'

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'

"Hey, a meat truck! Let’s go after it!" "Nah. My owner’s a lawyer. I only chase ambulances." "Oooh."

'I don't go through the rubbish because I'm hungry: I'm just curious...'