Dog Talk Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Another slander suit!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

Dog and man on couch

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"What happened to what cat?"

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

Dog-English dictionary.

"No, I've never liked chasing sticks. I though you enjoyed throwing them."