Taking A Long Trip Gifts

"This is your captain speaking. Thank you for flying with us, and for using your time on board to contemplate the cruel paradox of polluting the very planet that we love to travel and explore."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Motor Tourism

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

Coexist. Coexhaust.

'Now here's a place I like!'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

Family members!

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'