Taking A Driving Test Pillows

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

I'd prefer to do my test on foot.

'Will you hurry please, I'm doing my driving test in ten minutes,'

'I wouldn't rate your wife's chances very highly, that's the examiner's car she's just backed into.'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Why do they do that?"

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"I need to tinkle."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Please Drove Carefully.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Cats on Board.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

How am I abducting?

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Child driving a toy car

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'