Tailgate King Pillows

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

A man gesturing at the moon

'Please try not to offer expert analysis.'

Cocktailgating. . . .

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'Marge tells me you're a welder by profession.'

'Go long!'

"Take it easy back there!"

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

'A hot dog won't work when there's steak on the neighbors' grill.'

Early Tailgate Parties.

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

The football preseason is a good time to review the rules of tailgating. Grabbing the ketchup when one person is handing it to another is "pass interference." Bringing salad instead of chicken wings is not allowed --- It's an "illegal substitution." "Piling on" is penalized on the football field, but not here at the tailgate party! And very importantly, in most places, we observe the "5-second rule" for dropped food. But here we have the "2-Minute Warning"! See, these fries are still good!

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

Beware of the Overly Friendly Dog.

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

'Ugh! I hate it when there's a tailgater behind me!'

A year ago I would have never guessed that tailgating in the driveway at home could feel like a normal thing to do.

"He doesn't bite, but he does some pretty violent tail-wagging."

"It's a tailgate cooler."

"We call it a tailgate party."

'Just my luck, another tailgater'

"Seriously...No one is THAT happy."