Tailgate Party Pillows

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

The trauma of losing.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Best Scapegoat

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

'Well at least they afforded me the courtesy of not using email,'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

"Looks like they're headed off the grid!"

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

'The alpha male decided I need to go find another herd.'

Waiting for home time

'I was sorry to hear that you'll be leaving us next week, Higgins...I was hoping it was this week.'

"In this company we don't just appreciate our workers. We celebrate them from their first until their last day, which as you might have noticed for you has come today."

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'Go long!'

'It was a parting gift when I was given subjective redundancy.'

'I'm spending our Home Improvement Grant on a leaving party for you.'

'Sorry, Tantor -- we're downsizing.'