Tailgate Party Pillows

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

The trauma of losing.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Best Scapegoat

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

'Well at least they afforded me the courtesy of not using email,'

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"

'You're fired. The test results came back and you tested positive for crack.'

"Looks like they're headed off the grid!"

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

'The alpha male decided I need to go find another herd.'

"In this company we don't just appreciate our workers. We celebrate them from their first until their last day, which as you might have noticed for you has come today."

'I was sorry to hear that you'll be leaving us next week, Higgins...I was hoping it was this week.'

Cocktailgating. . . .

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

Waiting for home time

'Go long!'

'It was a parting gift when I was given subjective redundancy.'

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"