Tactical Tomfoolery Pillows

The Jerry Scarer

Lynching on social media

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

Good poetry & Winning teams

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

"No. I can still see you."

'We're running combat maneuvers on our 3 year old?'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

New chess champion 31st November 2018

'You're cheating. You're not playing the cards I dealt you.'

'He's just messing with your mind.'

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

'I told you to pick me up around the corner.'

"After years in theoretical physics, I can't get enough equipment to put my hands on."

Remedial SWAT team training.

'Pawn to king's rook four.'

Blowing Out Parachute Flares

Tank with a 'How is my driving' sticker

"That's not what I meant by cover my ass, Henderson!"

"You can tell it's a genuine Ring of Power because it has a secret decoder AND a whistle."

'Pop up Book of Covert Warfare.'

"This button is for ground-to-air missiles. The other one is for air-to-ground missiles."