Tactical Drinking Planner Pillows

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

Complaints Desk

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'What a control freak!'

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

'You and your beer parties!'

Sale: His and Her's weekender bags.

Dutch Courage

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

School Trip To The Beach

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'As a graduation present my parents ae going to remodel their basement for my home.'

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

"Want to have a few pies after work?"

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

'There's something I should tell you Boris. . . I'm actually right-brained.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'Do you have any coffee?'