Tactical Drinking Planner T-Shirts

'This is the layout of all the bars we'll hit tonight! We'll start here, then...So we'll sweep around their rear flank, capture their artillery here, then...'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

Complaints Desk

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

California Beverages Map

'What a control freak!'

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Office of Strategic Scenarios: 'Best case...Worst case.'

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Dutch Courage

'You and your beer parties!'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Sale: His and Her's weekender bags.

School Trip To The Beach

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

'As a graduation present my parents ae going to remodel their basement for my home.'

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'There's something I should tell you Boris. . . I'm actually right-brained.'

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"Want to have a few pies after work?"

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'