Tabloid Tale Seeker Gifts

Best Christmas Ever

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

JET (Part I)

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Modern History: Last Year/Last Month/Last Week/Yesterday.

Weditorials

The Original Gossip Columns

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'Inflated gloom!'

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Leisure Editor

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

"Well, instead of discussing the book we could discuss why none of us had time to read it."

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

According to this tabloid article, two guys who today are a basketabll referee and a politician, were friends as kids with a business selling seashells. The referee says that one sunny day while under an umbrella searching in the muck for shells they found a bunch of slimy, loose change. Or as the tabloid puts it "Whistleblower reveals pol's shady past with dirty money and a shell company!"

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"The school newspaper's much improved as a tabloid!"

Topless Newsreader - "Just for the first few weeks love, until we've captured the audience."

Charlie Sheen

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

St Paul is Shipwrecked (The Holy Bible).

'Sleaze, please.'

Showbiz is tough

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

Invasion of Privacy

'Who believes this nonsense?'