Table Decor Debater Gifts

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

Before he was taken away, Dr. Stuart Trust was the last known doctor to make HOUSE CALLS.

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

Workaholic on a cruise

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

'All dogs have four legs. All tables have four legs. All dogs are tables."

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

The Deconstructed Tree

Framing. Folks, how about leaving two inches between the picture and frame? More! No, less! the border is a very controversial subject.

"Five settings? Who's coming over?"

No caption. (A diner's napkin swan flies away).

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

'Do you mind leaving a tip before I wait on you so I can determine my service level for this table?'

Armchair Critics.

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."

Wedding Place-Setting Guide

'Smoking section or screaming child section?'

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'

"I have a food question."

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

'Must this family always talk sports at the dinner table?'