Table Decor Debater Pillows

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

Workaholic on a cruise

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

'All dogs have four legs. All tables have four legs. All dogs are tables."

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

"Five settings? Who's coming over?"

The Deconstructed Tree

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

'Do you mind leaving a tip before I wait on you so I can determine my service level for this table?'

Armchair Critics.

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."

"My theory is that alcohol and gluten, if taken together, will reduce fat and build muscle."

Wedding Place-Setting Guide

'Smoking section or screaming child section?'

"I have a food question."

'Must this family always talk sports at the dinner table?'

Chicken running out of restaurant, waiter: "Err, chickens off"