Dinner Table Debater Pillows

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'So how was your day?'

'Must this family always talk sports at the dinner table?'

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

Chicken running out of restaurant, waiter: "Err, chickens off"

'My parents are old fashioned. We can't have social media at the dinner table. We're expected to actually talk.'

'Remember when the chat room was just the dinner table?'

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'All right, I agree with you.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

Alexis Tsipras meets Francois Hollande

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.