Dining Debater Pillows

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Do you mind leaving a tip before I wait on you so I can determine my service level for this table?'

"You're sexy when you're wrong."

"I have a food question."

If you hate fish, why did you insist on coming to a fish restaurant? FISH DISH. Once in a while I like to have an encounter in which I'M the one who says "no."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

'Smoking section or screaming child section?'

'Waiter, your ten percent tip.'

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"You owe me five bucks."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'