Tab Avoider T-Shirts

"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

Sawdust.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"What abouts...the ones who are allergic to all these service animals?"

Escaped Fish

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

"Just more Junk Mail."

(Dart! ….. I pressed the button for instructions in Spanish!)

'You want a plastic bag, for one tin of peas? Why don't you use your hands to carry it home? After all, they are reusable and friendlier to the environment.'

'Mom, what are 'stairs' for?'

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

"It's nothing...probably something I just ate for dinner."

Tooth ache.

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'

Island Rent Due.

'Not only must she love dogs, but she must hate cats.'

'Look on the bright side, we're surrounded by water: We're safe from cats...'

The new, improved "Hide-A-Dysfunction" Slip Cover

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

'I didn't get the memo. I like not getting memos.'

"I've consolidated all our bills into one missed payment."

"I think the plumber wants his bill paid!"