App Avoider T-Shirts

"Hey, Dad! Did you get the Covid app?"

Email Notifications

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Sawdust.

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Dream Advertisements.

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

The things some people do to escape from McDonald's advertising.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

Hiding From Social Media

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'I hate networking.'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"I only wish this was the final notice."

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'

"Just more Junk Mail."