Internet Avoider T-Shirts

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

I.T. Fear

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

Email Notifications

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

Dream Advertisements.

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

"Oh good, there's nothing on."

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

The things some people do to escape from McDonald's advertising.

Good parenting.

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

'I hate networking.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Eloise! This feller says he's 'a gent named Iris' and wants to talk to us about Texas.'

"Just more Junk Mail."

I came up here because I got tired of being targeted by advertisers.

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."