System Scrutinizer Pillows

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"There must be an app for this..."

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

Bar None

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'

Bring down the Airlines.

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

Say It Ain't So, Ho

Smoking Gun

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'