Symptom Scrutinizer Pillows

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Next!"

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

'A body temperature of 98.6 normally wouldn't worry me but this is in centigrade!'

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"