Symptom Scrutinizer Prints

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

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'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

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"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

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'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

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Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

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Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Next!"

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

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'A body temperature of 98.6 normally wouldn't worry me but this is in centigrade!'

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'