Sentence Scrutinizer Pillows

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

Bar None

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

Nancy Ruth is speaking today....

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'

Smoking Gun

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'