Menu Scrutinizer Pillows

"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."

"Of course the chef ‘suggests’ it — it’s seventy-five bucks!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the MSG local?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Fast Food Menu Selections

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Coffee

"....and hold the garlic."

Nuclear Security Summit

Coffee Menu

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."