Menu Scrutinizer Gifts

"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."

"Of course the chef ‘suggests’ it — it’s seventy-five bucks!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Is the MSG local?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Coffee Menu

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup