Label Scrutinizer Gifts

Ready meals with honest labelling.

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fats.

'And I bet that's only the packaging!'

CATCHY NAME

He assumed cottage cheese would be safe, but this would be the last time Michael wouldn't check the label for entire fat content.

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

Nuclear Security Summit

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

Animal Crackers. What a mess! I have to check them all. The box says "Do not eat if seal broken" --- Does this look like a seal to you?

"There must be an app for this..."

Lack of Nutrition Information

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Bar None

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."