Sign Scrutinizer Gifts

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"Can I borrow a pen?"

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'The pitcher tested negative for steroids. The pitcher's mound we're not too sure about.'

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"There must be an app for this..."

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"You've signed my book in tomato sauce..."

"Oh, I've never actually read any of your books. . . I come to these hoping the author will pass away and the book will increase in value!"

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'

Man uses encyclopaedia to try to decipher trendy signs for toilets in pub: pens and cobs

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'Somebody is stealing our signs.'

Smoking Gun

Say It Ain't So, Ho

Bring down the Airlines.

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."