Fee Scrutinizer Gifts

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

Bar None

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

Bring down the Airlines.

'This is a rip-off!'

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

"I never sign without reading it first."

Tell me about your travel extras please. Airport tax,security charge,fuel levy and customer nuisance surcharge.

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

Inland Revenue 'Think Disallowable'

'I'm not a racist - I hate everyone.'

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fats.

'It's a disaster, legal salaried have fallen across the board in relation to similarly paid professionals.'