Menu Analyzer Pillows

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Sign reads: 'To be sure of a healthy nutrition, throw away the contents and eat the package'.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Is the MSG local?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee Menu

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"....and hold the garlic."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'The customer is always right...'