Small Print Scrutinizer Pillows

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

CATCHY NAME

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"There must be an app for this..."

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

Aways read the small print.

Bar None

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

GP motto 'If in doubt call it a syndrome'

'The danger of similar packaging.'

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

Bring down the Airlines.

Smoking Gun

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

Read the small print Guv - 'Press in every room', not 'trouser press in every room.'

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'